Fear of failure kills your dream faster than anything else.
A lot of people struggle with feeling confident in themselves and with their self-esteem because they have not convinced themselves that they are capable. This is worsened if you receive external feedback that is degrading to you.
The way to actually combat that is to prove to yourself consistently that you can overcome obstacles and can adapt. When you do not make it a habit of making goals and trying hard to follow through earnestly, it is impossible to build that trust within yourself. You will always feel like a fraud and be insecure.
“Faking” confidence is good advice to calm yourself down and trust your abilities. However it is NOT a substitute to actually building confidence within yourself. So many people get used to faking confidence but what they’re actually just doing is lying. They know how to sound convincing but it’s just bravado.
You can actually spot these people from a mile way because they’ve pretended so long they cannot turn it off. They also tend to exaggerate/stretch truths/outright lie quite often. They contradict themselves frequently and who are whoever they need to be to maintain their image. They’ll also probably go on and on about the million things they have ideas about.
And this can apply to anything and work on multiple levels. Think about a time you’ve wanted to avoid seeing someone or going somewhere because you didn’t feel “ready” or “good enough.” Or a time you wanted to join in a convo or activity but couldn’t because you kept putting off actually starting the project you’ve been meaning to, and you didn’t want to sound like a poser.
My point isn’t that you have to accomplish every goal. My point is that you should at least attempt every goal because time will pass regardless. In 6 months, would you rather be still thinking about writing your book, or would you rather have the first chapter drafted?
The more you transform yourself from “someone who is thinking about doing things” to “someone who is doing things” the more your self confidence will increase and the more comfortable you will feel taking on new challenges.
– Virg
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